laughter... hard but necessary (Day 9)

I've struggled looking in the mirror recently. I suppose maybe this is a good month to humble myself.
I've been battling with some eye issues since my daughter was born. They think it's something called Thyroid Eye Disease. It caused one eye to be slightly more open than the other. Which seems fairly insignificant... until you realize that it gets just a little more air, a little more light, and therefore gets just a tad more irritated.

 When I was a senior in high school my one eye was so irritated I had to wear an eye patch for a few weeks. As a SENIOR. Thankfully I had a boyfriend LOL who I dated long distance... Phew! After a few weeks it straightened out.

 Fast Forward to a few years ago and it kind of "went wonky" I would say. Again, I wore an eye patch, stayed away from strangers who are wary of eye patches... seriously. Like you're a real pirate or something... and it went away.

  The next year around the same time (February) it happened again. Applied the eye patch. Fine.

  Last year around February my vision started getting a little blurry and this time my eyes were dry and gritty. I thought it was from googling in the middle of the night EVERYTHING that came to mind as a new mother. I won't go into all the things I would research. I went to have my eyes checked and they said I needed glasses. Ok. No big deal. Then they "went wonky" again. I broke out my trusty eye patch, much to the confusion of my infant, but it didn't go away. One eye was extremely painful.

 I should also say that as a kid in elementary school I was known as "bug eyes". It was right on. I also am a very easily excitable individual so I'm sure that contributed. Nonetheless, one was bigger than the other but most people assumed the buggy one was the one that wasn't wonky... lol. i really am trying to laugh about it.

 So... many people on the internet attributed it to my thyroid condition - Geez, I sound like a medical disaster. I have hypothyroidism.
The most common symptom is weight -gain. Not mine.
Buggy Eyes. Check.
Always cold. Check.
Dry skin. Check.

They diagnosed me in the middle of winter while in college in Iowa... those symptoms seemed reasonable for anyone who lives in Iowa in winter.... but it was one of the worst cases the doctors had ever seen. They even asked all the nurses to come into the room to see me. Because I didn't really "look" like what they would normally see with someone who has hypothyroidism.

Now... we throw in a broken jaw and two broken Front teeth! Did I mention what I do for a living? Ay yay yay. It's amazing all the things you take for granted. Your eyes are symmetrical. You can chew! But again... I digress. It seems whats on the inside... really does matter more. The world has been unwaveringly good to me, especially these last few days... and I feel more loved than ever. So thank you.

My husband hasn't even threatened to leave me :) Winning!
Hypothyroidism is becoming unbelievably more common = more research is being done. Winning!
Teeth can be fixed - sometimes to look even better than they did before. ha Winning x2 for me
My vision is now back to normal! No glasses need. Winning.

My eyes are still a little wonky, although when I try I can make them look pretty symmetrical.
They're still slightly irritated, but they say the "active phase" should be over soon.

And... I have a little person who doesn't judge me. She may look at me funny here and there, but she still brings me all her favorite toys and squeals when I walk in the room. Winning.

But today... I did have to laugh when I looked in the mirror. I remember a joke about someone being called a "butterface. Everything is good... BUT her face... I guess that joke is my joke these days. It is what it is. I can tell you my judgment factor in all areas of my life have gone way down. You have NO idea what someone is going through...

Just for a good laugh because... it's the best medicine they say.

#butterface