Worst day of my life (Day 1)

Tuesday January 9th.
    It didn’t start out so bad. I haven’t washed my hair since the accident( not supposed to get my ear wet) but it still Has blood In it. My amazing friend Charlie offers To wash it in her sink at the salon that morning. It takes a tribe.

 On our way to surgery I can’t help thinking about what I read on the internet. Google tells me people get anxiety just THINKING about having their jaw wired shut. People
Say they feel extremely claustrophobic. WHAT ABOUT PUKING?? I knew I shouldn’t have looked but I told myself I needed recipe ideas...






   I don’t throw up a lot... usually. But I did throw up those tacos just a few days ago... it’s still haunting me.
   I asked him what I could eat. ANYTHING! He proclaimed. As long as it goes through the blender ;) I think peter drinks 2 vitamix Blender full of protein shakes a day.
I loathe them. Their texture, the taste... why not just EAT delicious protein that has been carefully crafted for You to enjoy fully, all The flavors and senses that each ingredient offers! I’m sure he was laughing (on the Inside- I would have broken his jaw too had he laughed out loud... although he wouldn’t have minded... oh the irony)
  And just for good measure I ask once more why we aren’t going the slower less painful route. He’s no nonsense, as you can imagine. He looks at me and says you WILL lose weight and this is only 4 weeks rather than 6-8... which is 2-4 weeks more of losing weight and protein shakes you hate. They always have the answers.



 Needles. I swear they’re the needles you tranquilize large zoo animals with. 4 in top, 4 on bottom. He’s also cognizant that I need my mouth in “working” order and to look normal as quickly as possible so I can tell you about all the great deals at Denver Mattress and to party with my Rock ‘n’ Rollers!

  First on the agenda a way to get my new teeth ready for implantation in 4 weeks from now. Without using the typical making molds approach because my two front teeth are broken and hanging on by a thread. This takes a while. Long enough to need to re-numb with the big needles. Ugh.

   Then the pulling of the jaw open... as wide as possible. Ouch.
   The drilling of the holes for the screws. OUCH
   The drilling in of the actual screws. OUch
   The clamping down of my jaw tightly together to line it up right. OUCh
   The wire threading... and tightening... OUch
 
He gave me Tylenol, a pair of wire cutters and said only to cut if I started aspirating my vomit. That I should try to let it seep through my teeth. I ask about a syringe. To eat. That’s what the other folks on the internet had. Put it towards to back of your throat by your molars. He said, you don’t need one. It won’t help you. You have all your wisom teeth. Be glad your tooth broke. That little break is your lifeline. Straws.

   Going home and the numbing agent wearing off. OUCH
   Self pity causing tears, causing nose to run and blowing of nose (ruptured ear) OUch
   The wires cutting into the inside of your mouth. ouch. (I had braces)

I sat on thors dog bed with him, my head in my hands. Why am I such an idiot. This sucks. And then I feel the warmth of the sun on my back and the softness of an animal who loves me and a house full
Of toys because I was able to bring a joyous little life into the world and I TRY to stop being miserable. Life is good!!!! It doesn’t work. I take my Tylenol and lay in the dark basement and try to go unconscious. Easier said than done.